Its been awhile since i posted an entry on this blog ay. Well i got something to say. Something yang hurt me so bad lately. Something yang keeps me awake and crying at night. Daripada gambar pun dah boleh tahu kan apa benda nya. I have a huge fight with my bestfriend. A huge fight? No. It is just me yang agak terasa sikit with them. i feel left out. i know diorang kinda busy with all school stuffs. aku sangat faham benda tu. Tapi lately ni aku rasa macam kitorang jauh. I dont know how to explain but i feel hurt.

i shouldnt be hurt. But i am. I know my friends are out and about doing their own thing because diorang ada hidup diorang sendiri. and im okay with that. it just sometimes i want to spend most my time with them. you know, hang out together, do things together just like before. everything is gone now. we're falling apart. sampai satu masa aku rasa macam "oh i shouldnt be friend with them, diorang pandai and all. me? i got nothing" ugh. everything became worst last night. but thank god theres a few people yang teman and nasihat aku :) Like what shahril said, "be cool and relax, diorang still anggap you as their bestfriend. it just diorang tak ada masa untuk you" Its okay. im gonna be off doing my own things soon anyways. after spm, after result i'll go. i'll move to sarawak next year and will not coming back.

But tak kira besar pun mana pun pergaduhan kita dengan bestfriend kita, at the end of the day kita akan rindu diorang. like me, i miss them. especially her. sebab everyday kita akan bercakap dengan dia. same school, same form in the same gang. well, bestfriend kan. tapi serious sometimes aku rasa macam diorang taknak kawan dengan aku ke? if they want, why they treat me like this?? :( This is hurt. i lost my 2 dearie friends in just one fucking day. or should i say 3?  mmmyeah, 3 :( i miss them so much. haih. im off bye

                                                                                              


heyya! Im feelin so down right now. Stalking is one of my favorite thing to do. its like my hobby. Banyak benda kita boleh jumpa by stalking. Daripada benda kecik, sampai lah benda besar. Sometimes benda yang disorok pun aku boleh bongkar kan. Thats why i keep telling people " dont lie to me, you know im a good stalker" So yeah, im a good a verryyyy theeee goooood stalker :) Tapi stalk someone that i love or i like is not good. seriously tho, its not good! sebab aku akan jumpa benda benda aku tak patut tahu yang akan menyakitkan hati dan jiwa aku. macam apa aku alami sekarang.

Im bored at home. So i decided to on the lappy and open my facebook since my friend said theres something on my wall. And yeah ada video tak elok yang virus post sesuka hati kat wall aku! its totally embarrasing.. semua orang ingat it was me who posted it! since it was on my wall kan. but nevermind lah. aku dah bagitahu pun kat diorang. Then all of sudden, aku rindu E. tak ada lah all of sudden pun. Aku memang rindu dia pun lately ni. Iyelah i havent met him for a while now. i miss him a lotttt. then terasa nak stalk dia. sebab tu kerja aku daripada dulu haha memang tak pernah stop. and his dp. and BANG!! he is in a relationship with......... F N?! what F N?!!? are u kidding me? she's his bestfriend's girlfriend tho. how come they're in a relationship? Takkan lah.. so i've jumped into many conclusions. just trying to calm myself down. But neehhhh mesti ada something yang aku taktahu pasal diorang. And i dont feel like stalking them. let them be lah.

Dulu aku selalu dapat all this kind of information daripada A. but aku dah tak contact dia.. how sad. but apa motive diorang? i keep thinkin about it. and then aku stalked her twitter. uuhh nak kata dia break dengan boyfriend dia pun tak sebab duk bersayang sayang kat twitter kan. Ala ni mesti sebab theres a freak kacau E or something? just to show yang dia dah ada girlf and ask that girl to back off and dont bother them and bla bla bla? uh i dont know! what actually happen to E? :( Uh ya allah, i miss him so bad :(((((((( hmm hope dia ok.

Kenapa kau taknak bagitahu yang kau minat dia?
- Kau rasa dia akan terima aku ke? taknak, aku takut.

Takkan kau nak berdoa sahaja tanpa usaha?
- Nak buat macam mana, aku malu.

If dia kena kebas dengan orang lain macam mana?
- Tak apa lah, bukan jodoh aku dengan dia lah tu.

See, banyak sangat alasan untuk aku terus menyukai dia dalam diam. Dia? Siapa dia? Dia adalah seseorang yang aku adore all this while. Yang mengisi kotak fikiran aku sampai overloaded. Pergi sana, fikir dia. Pergi sini, fikir dia. Asyik nak menyebut nama dia je. Tersenyum sesorang time exam sebab dia. Aku ni dah boleh diketagorikan ada syndrome angau yang terlampau. lol. Angau ke? Tak. Aku tak rasa aku angau. Kalau angau, kemana saja aku pergi mesti dok bercakap pasal dia. tak kira lah dengan siapa. Ni aku diam je. Tak ada seorang pun yang tahu siapa gerangan orang yang malang ini. wakakaka.

Gila. Aku takkan confess dekat dia. not in a million years~ Sebab apa? im scared of rejection...... Macam mana nanti if aku confess, dia tak suka aku and all his friends akan kutuk aku? ohh nooo. its totally a nightmare!!!!!! lol. Biar lah aku teruskan dengan suka dia dalam diam :') Im gonna meet him soon! in another 9 days.. hihi :3 im so excited. i miss him act. lol. okbye.

cikmimin ✦ You ✧ You ✦ You ✧ You ✦ You ✧ You ✦ You
You ✧ You ✦ You ✧ You

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