My life is now full with regrets. Sounds so sad but its true. sad? really? yes. Losing your bestfriend is like losing half of your happiness in life. Bestfriend should be with us and makes us happy. But if you lose them, you lose someone who makes happy. ha ha. okay. 

I used to have alot of bestfriends. Not that "alot" but banyak la juga. um  But i lose them............. First i lose amad. My bestbestbestfriend like bestfriend forever. I dont know how aku boleh lost contact dengan dia but i know it was my fault. Hmm. To be clear, i miss him. I miss our hangouts, our late night calls, our jokes, our stories.. everything!. Aku dengan dia selalu onthephone. Cerita pelbagai benda yang terlintas dekat kepala kitorang. and from that you know, kitorang sangaaaaat rapat and gila. haha. i started to recall our happy moments together. Everyweek kitorang akan keluar lepak dengann kawan kawan dia yang havoc gila especially aleef. ha ha.. i still remember pergi tengok bola masa semi-final barca vs chelsea then final of champion league Bayern Munich vs Chelsea. the most happy moment ever! oh oh! bergaduh dengan aiman. haha. i miss them! i miss amad :( he brings alot of happiness in my life.. he used to be my shoulder to cry on. Aku akan cerita dekat dia every single thing that happen to me. hes a good listener back then :') but i left him.

Then, i lose aqil. Kawan baik yang sangat menyakitkan hati! if you read my previous post korang akan tahu hows and whys aku bergaduh and tak bertegur sapa dengan dia. Go and check out my previous post now! haha lol kitorang gaduh sebab sedikit kecik hati aku dekat dia pasal kawad. lol masalah kecik je tapi lepas hari sukan tu kitorang terus tak bertegur. even dia dalam kelas duduk dekat sebelah aku. but hmmm diam bisu seribu bahasa. Eventho dia selalu kacau aku, bahan aku, kutuk maki aku. but hey! itu yang aku rindu sangat sekaang  ni :( kau tahu bila kau bergaduh or kacau someone, bila that someone hilang, you will miss them so much. trust me, you will. haih. but apa yang jadi antara aku dengan dia, semua benda dah tak boleh fix. 

lastly, im losing my two beautiful soulmates. its nani and nurul. oh and jipa. how i miss them so much :( kitorang kawan since i was 13. and now? kitorang tak bertegur sapa. aku tak bergaduh dengan nani and nurul but aku bergaduh dengan jipa. why? i dont have much time to tell ya. hm i dont know why aku dengan nani and nurul tak bertegur. even jumpa dekat sekolah pun tak bertegur. hello we're soulmates for life! but not anymore...... i miss them :( so much! 

from all above, semua salah aku. im the one who left them. it is just because i dont wanna get hurt anymore. they're like my happiness. and aku terlampau emo. emoshit gila sampai nak putus kawan. if benda boleh fix dari awal, mungkin sekarang aku still kawan dengan diorang. right? tapi ego aku yang tinggi gila ni menghalang semua benda. aku mengaku, aku menyesal. but i cant do anything just regret. everything happened because of me! :(