full of regrets
My life is now full with regrets. Sounds so sad but its true. sad? really? yes. Losing your bestfriend is like losing half of your happiness in life. Bestfriend should be with us and makes us happy. But if you lose them, you lose someone who makes happy. ha ha. okay.
I used to have alot of bestfriends. Not that "alot" but banyak la juga. um But i lose them............. First i lose amad. My bestbestbestfriend like bestfriend forever. I dont know how aku boleh lost contact dengan dia but i know it was my fault. Hmm. To be clear, i miss him. I miss our hangouts, our late night calls, our jokes, our stories.. everything!. Aku dengan dia selalu onthephone. Cerita pelbagai benda yang terlintas dekat kepala kitorang. and from that you know, kitorang sangaaaaat rapat and gila. haha. i started to recall our happy moments together. Everyweek kitorang akan keluar lepak dengann kawan kawan dia yang havoc gila especially aleef. ha ha.. i still remember pergi tengok bola masa semi-final barca vs chelsea then final of champion league Bayern Munich vs Chelsea. the most happy moment ever! oh oh! bergaduh dengan aiman. haha. i miss them! i miss amad :( he brings alot of happiness in my life.. he used to be my shoulder to cry on. Aku akan cerita dekat dia every single thing that happen to me. hes a good listener back then :') but i left him.
Then, i lose aqil. Kawan baik yang sangat menyakitkan hati! if you read my previous post korang akan tahu hows and whys aku bergaduh and tak bertegur sapa dengan dia. Go and check out my previous post now! haha lol kitorang gaduh sebab sedikit kecik hati aku dekat dia pasal kawad. lol masalah kecik je tapi lepas hari sukan tu kitorang terus tak bertegur. even dia dalam kelas duduk dekat sebelah aku. but hmmm diam bisu seribu bahasa. Eventho dia selalu kacau aku, bahan aku, kutuk maki aku. but hey! itu yang aku rindu sangat sekaang ni :( kau tahu bila kau bergaduh or kacau someone, bila that someone hilang, you will miss them so much. trust me, you will. haih. but apa yang jadi antara aku dengan dia, semua benda dah tak boleh fix.
lastly, im losing my two beautiful soulmates. its nani and nurul. oh and jipa. how i miss them so much :( kitorang kawan since i was 13. and now? kitorang tak bertegur sapa. aku tak bergaduh dengan nani and nurul but aku bergaduh dengan jipa. why? i dont have much time to tell ya. hm i dont know why aku dengan nani and nurul tak bertegur. even jumpa dekat sekolah pun tak bertegur. hello we're soulmates for life! but not anymore...... i miss them :( so much!
from all above, semua salah aku. im the one who left them. it is just because i dont wanna get hurt anymore. they're like my happiness. and aku terlampau emo. emoshit gila sampai nak putus kawan. if benda boleh fix dari awal, mungkin sekarang aku still kawan dengan diorang. right? tapi ego aku yang tinggi gila ni menghalang semua benda. aku mengaku, aku menyesal. but i cant do anything just regret. everything happened because of me! :(
i shouldnt lose the one who makes me happy! :'(
im touched
hey everyone! im back! haha. tetibe rasa nak update blog sebab ada orang tu ingatkan blog and telah menjadi stalker aku sepenuh masa. yes, you. haha pls terasa. dah baca tu diam diam lah. tak payah lah nak kutuk orang. sigh. okay! what a bad permulaan kata! hahahha XD. um okay lol okay hahahaha okay bye.
i just read faiz's blog.. IM SOOOOO FREAKING TOUCHED! AND I CRIED! Tersentuh tahap petala kelapan ah. apa yang dia update semua dia tak pernah cakap dekat aku. and bila aku baca blog dia baru lah aku tahu apa yang sebenarnya dia terasa :') rasa bersalah campur dengan sedih dan tersentuh. mana tak menangis kan? i know i know aku emo. well, its a sweet thing kan? perempuan kan lembut senang tesentuh. hihi.
Baby, i know you will read this. I love you so much! like toooooooooooo much! thanks fr everything :) thanks for your wonderful love, thanks for taking care of me, thanks for loving me, thanks for being there for me.. im yours. and no one can take me away from you :) dont worry, you wont lose me. muah! :* xx
this is his blog. just in case korang teringin nak baca apa dia tulis :D
if taknak takpe, tak payah click link tu -..- lol. kbai.
ramadhan
Happy fasting to all muslims in this world!!! :)
Ramadhan is finally here. agak terlambat untuk aku update about ramadhan. eh no! baru 5th day of ramadhan kan dan tak lambat juga aku nak ucapkan selamat berpuasa kepada umat islam di seluruh negara hihi.
Hopefully ibadah puasa aku tahun ni sempurna dan aku boleh berpuasa penuh :D tapi rasanya macam tak dapat you knowwww girlssss~~~ haha ok. i dont feel like writing much. so yeah, once again. HAPPY FASTING YALL!
i miss not having you to talk to.
Today aku nak cerita about someone. Someone yang aku boleh panggil kawan baik jugak la. Alright. his name is................ no way aku nak mention his name kan? bahah XD kk tak lawak pun. We're having a kinda huge fight. Pasal apa pun aku tak pasti. Tapi ada lah sebabnya dan aku ingatkan dia tak ambik kesah pun sebab this guy memang 100% heartless. he never ever care about others feeling. He is such a selfish and poyo person. he never apologize dekat sesiapa even cikgu. Dia sangat keras kepala and i know him very well. That is why aku tak pernah expect any apologize from him everytime kitorang gaduh. Everytime? yeah everyday every minute kitorang akan gaduh over small matter.. such as pinjam kerusi nak duduk, pinjam pen tak minta, siapa dapat markah lagi tinggi (selalu nya dia) etc etc. Mesti ada je benda yang dia tak puas hati dengan aku. MESTI! KALAU TAK ADA MEMANG TAK SAH *sigh*
Lagi satu sebab aku tak pernah expect is because haritu dia ada gaduh jugak dengan one of my friend. Memang teruk gak diorang gaduh sampai perempuan tu nangis (aku lagi banyak kali nangis pasal dia) tapi dia tak minta maaf pun. dia siap kacau and bahan that girl lagi tauu. so meannnn!!! and now diorang dah baik. while me? still tak bertegur tak bercakap tak bersemuka. Walaupun kitorang duduk sebelah sebelah. hes very quiet nowadays.... Tak macam selalu. Asyik termenung je. Kadang kadang aku ada jugak curi curi pandang dia. risau pulak aku. rasa macam nak pergi and tanya dia why dia termenung and so quiet :( that is not because me kan? or it is? Semua orang nampak perubahan dia tu. Benda tu jadi since kitorang gaduh. Dia selalu pindah duduk belakang sebab tempat dia dekat sebelah aku. well, hmmmm i miss him. i miss talking to him. rindu nak gaduh dengan dia. fyi, i like him. im having a hugeeeee crush on him. i know this is stupid but i cant help it. he never fail to make me smile........ and now im so worried :/
You have no idea. No idea of how I feel about you. Of how much I care about you. Of how amazing and beautiful you are. Of what I think we could become. Of how much you make me happy and sad at the same time. Of how much you make me feel alive. Of the butterfly riot that takes place in my stomach when you talk to me, or bbm me. Of how much you make me worried and scared. You have no idea, do you?